slipshod odd blog http://dumbluck.posterous.com where my random thoughts come to kick back and shoot the poop posterous.com Mon, 30 Aug 2010 13:27:00 -0700 Bloody Good Weekend http://dumbluck.posterous.com/bloody-good-weekend http://dumbluck.posterous.com/bloody-good-weekend

No, I'm not being British. There was a fair share of blood, sweat, and bruises yesterday when I went on a not so leisurely sailboat cruise with a group of friends from engineering. I'll spare you the details of the girl getting concussed by a swinging boom (which I thought only happened in the movies) other more subtle shenanigans and just explain the stupid things I ended up doing. For you pleasure, I will sort them by the physical injury that it caused:

Half-inch long cuts on right, ring and pinky fingers
So, after we finally unsunk our canoe (that's a whole other story) we were pulling it along after the sailboat and just drinking and snacking on the ship. At one point I was was sitting on the hatch holding a bag of potato chips when the the captain raised his open palms signalling that he wanted me to throw the bag his way. I miss judged the strength of the wind and the bag hopped up over his head. In my infinite wisdom, I whipped off my glasses and dived overboard. Lesson number one - never dive head first out of a sailboat. Why? It doesn't hurt if you can angle your entry into the water right, which I luckily did, but that sailboat is going a lot faster than you may think and it's a bitch and a half to get it around again. So, needless to say, the chip bag was whisked away pretty quickly and there I was in the middle of lake with my crew of friends laughing and zipping away. I see the cord holding the canoe whipping by and swim out of the way of this monster thing barreling at me. I get out of the way and position myself to grab it as it comes by. I should've know better, but it was a really old canoe and the frame work was starting to show some wear and tear. There was a quick sharp pain as I grabbed the side and my hand slid down the rail to the end which I luckily grabed with a tightened grip and tried to hold as much of my body out of the water to reduce the drag that was trying to pull me away. My friend started to reel me in and I eventually noticed some red drops of blood on the canoe. I looked down at my hand and saw the blood rushing down my forearms in victory.

Stiff neck
This was easily the stupidest and most painful of my injuries. When I say stiff I mean stiff, if I angle my head as little as thirty degrees I can feel it tightening up which is accompanied by a dull pain.How'd this happen? So, after we dropped anchor and crashed the house boat party (that's a whole other story) we starting contemplating jumps and dives off of the upper deck. Being the idiot that I am my first attempt was a dive. I concentrated on going out instead of down. Even with that mentality my hands and chest bumped the ground, but my neck was fine. After this my other friend decided to do a more suicidal jump over the lower deck and the prop. He managed a cannonball getting some of the locals pretty wet but not at all displeased. Now things are starting to heat up, it may have been the gin, so I try to do a suicide dive off the top deck - which means head first, no arms. You grab the wrist of one of your arms with the other behind you back. The dive is nice but I totally forget to go out, not down. I drop in the water so fast and I hit the sand. Hard. This is just conjecture, because nobody saw, but it felt like my head was twisted so hard to the right that my neck was near parallel with my shoulder. The first thing I thought was "I'm paralyzed. Oh my god. I'm paralyzed" I try to kick my feet and to my relief I started kick water swimming back. Funny thing is, I was intoxicated enough at the time that I didn't feel anything. Now that it's the next day I'm in a whole new world of aches and pain.

Deep gash on toe
As the day was winding down we started to attach the canoe to the top of my friends truck. I walk towards the canoe to help secure it and swing my foot directly into the combat knife stabbed into the ground (you guessed it, that's a whole other story) getting a nice clean but on the side of my right, ring toe. It didn't hurt at all but I knew I hit something. I looked a the knife slightly loose in the ground and I know that I'm cut up pretty bad. The three girls looked down at my feet and covered there mouths and started making typical worried girl noises. I decide that I won't look at it but it need to be taken care of - luckily, my good friend was down to take care of me and she pryed my pinky away from that toe and said "It's deep. It's really deep." After the obligatory, "that's what she said" we ripped up some undershirt, grabbed some Polysporin, and I was fixed up in no time. I took of the make shifts raps and bandaged it up once I got home but I still haven't seen that actual damage.

Well, there you have it. A typical adventure with yours truly. Next time, the day I tried to climb into my friends house while running away from the campus cowboys.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/296605/images.jpeg http://posterous.com/users/37qKbYEgJSSt Martin Derige dumbluck Martin Derige
Wed, 17 Feb 2010 14:19:00 -0800 Great White North http://dumbluck.posterous.com/great-white-north-2 http://dumbluck.posterous.com/great-white-north-2

I've always liked beer commercials because of their use of humour but here's a beer commercial that instills nothing but Canadian pride. The Molson Canadian - Made in Canada commercial is airing right now, during the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics and it's awesome!

When you think about Canadians you might ask yourself, “Why are we the way we are?”
Well the answer is lying right under our feet - literally
Fact is, it’s this land that shapes us
There’s a reason why we run off the dock instead of tippy toe in
It’s because that water is frozen six months a year
And that frozen water brought on a sport that we can call our own
This land is unlike any other
We have more square feet of awesomeness per person than any other nation on earth
It’s why we flock towards lakes, mountains, forests, rivers, and streams
We know we have the best backyard in the world
And we get out there every chance we get
Because it’s not just the great outdoors we’re chasing - it’s freedom
And this place gives it to us at every turn
Here, we’re free to chill out, free to unwind and free to wind up
There’s a beer that comes from the same land we let loose on
And it’s brewed to be as clean, crisp, and fresh as the country it comes from
So here’s to everything this land gives us
Molson Canadian: Made from Canada

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/296605/images.jpeg http://posterous.com/users/37qKbYEgJSSt Martin Derige dumbluck Martin Derige
Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:30:00 -0800 Kings / Sociables http://dumbluck.posterous.com/kings-sociables-0 http://dumbluck.posterous.com/kings-sociables-0

Everybody has their own set of rules and here are what I consider my house rules and I've also included some good rules that you can implement if you get the oh-so-hilarious rule card.

Ace: Give + Take
Two: Give + Take

Red cards mean that you have to take the amount of sips on the card. Black cards mean you can give out that amount of drinks. When you draw a black two you may split 'em up or double-tap someone. I also distinctly remember a day where the one drink rule became the one shot rule. I don't remember the much of the rest of that day though...

Three: Rule Card
Time to be creative. Come up with a rule that can seriously change the game and seriously fuck people up. You can go with classics bans (no names, no swears, no pointing) which can work in tandem to absolutely annihilate people or you can let your imagination out. Another staple is the Little Green Man; he sits on your beer and you have to remove him and replace him before and after every drink in any means necessary. Bonus points for naming him. You can make the drink bitch bark like a dog and crawl on all fours, you can use the date rule in which every player has a partner and when one partner drinks they both drink. This card is what makes every game of Sociables something new.

Four: Shotgun
When you draw this card prepare yourself. When the last 4 is draw anyone in possession of a 4 will have to shotgun a beer. There aren't any double-barrel shotguns in this game though. If you draw a second 4 you have the privilege of giving out to anyone you want, or you can be a champ and do them both.

Five: Thumbs
This card is banked just like the shotgun card. At any point the person who has this card may put there thumb on the table and the last person to follow suit has to drink. The card is then discarded into the graveyard. In some cases this card is called the Thumb Master and if this is the case the card does not get discarded but there can only be one Thumb Master at a time.

Six: Rhyme Time
The person who draws this card says a word. In the direction of play, the next person has to say a word that rhymes. The person that can't come up with a rhyme in a reasonable amount of time or repeats a word has to consume. Please, don't be an ass and say words like silver, orange, or month, that's what the Ace is for.

Seven: Fuck You!
When this card is drawn the person says "one" and the person next to them says "two" and the numbers continue until you hit a number that (i) has the number 7 in it or (ii) is a multiple of seven. In this case, instead of saying the number you say "Fuck You!" and the direction of counting switches directions. Things to watch out for include the 27-28 double-fuck and the shouting match seventies.

Eight: Boxhead
A box of beer, dozens seem to work best, is either crafted into an amazing helmet of a shameful hat. When you draw this card you get to put it on your head thus becoming Boxhead. Make sure that the box still allows for downing alcohol though.

Nine: Drink Bitch
It's the drink bitches job to ensure that nobodies cup becomes empty. People kindly inform the drink bitch if they're running low or they can let them have it just for fun. Remember, be kind to your drink bitch because you may never know when you draw this card. Unless, they've all been drawn then fucking punish away.

Ten: Categories
Similar to Rhyme Time accept that instead of an initial word to start things off the drawer picks a category. Now people take turns listing things that fit under that category. Anyone that says one that's already been said or can't come up with something has to drink up.

Jack: Dicks/Gentlemen Drink
If you have a penis you drink. Simple as that.

Queen: Bitches/Ladies Drink

Girls' turns. If this card is called bitches drink it becomes perfectly legitimate to make the Drink Bitch drink too.

King: Sociables
Everybody drinks and is merry! Sociables!


I've put a lot more effort into this than I thought I would which is why I think I'm going to call these my own personal brand of house rules. If you see this exact set anywhere else you know that person that's posting is is a fucking thief! Unless I give them my written and/oral consent than it's all good.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/296605/images.jpeg http://posterous.com/users/37qKbYEgJSSt Martin Derige dumbluck Martin Derige